You're On!
by FirefliesWish
Summary: When a simple misunderstanding spirals out of control, Neji and Tenten find themselves in a challenge to get the other to fall in love with them first! Insanity? You bet'cha.
1. It Begins

**Hello Hello! Well, here's a story idea I just couldn't get out of my mind after reading numerous Neji/Tenten stories!**

**I don't own Naruto, or anything else that is copyrighted you see in this story. Onward! **

The morning air was crisp as Team Gai trained in a clearing near the edge of the woods. Lee was punching holes into a boulder that was twice his height up, and three times his height in depth. Tenten practiced with her bo-staff, and Neji sat quietly under a tree, meditating. 

Lee paused a moment to wipe the sweat off his brow and exhaled deeply.

"What a wonderful day to spar, don't you think, Tenten-chan, Neji?"

"Hn," was Neji's response.

"Hya!" Tenten had hit an imaginary foe in the stomach with the end of her staff, "Eh, I guess it's okay, I mean, it's not really special or anything, Lee-kun."

"Special? Are you kidding me! What better way to boost our youthfulness for the upcoming dance than by training!"

"Dance?" Tenten questioned as she put away her staff.

"Silly! It's almost January! And that means the New Year is coming up! Gai told me there's going to be a big celebration—everyone in Konoha is invited! Better yet, we have to go as couples, which means this is my chance to woo the lovely flower of Konoha, Sakura-chan, and ask her to accompany me to the dance!" Lee stood in a determined pose, fist in air and eyes burning.

"Oh, well then, have fun, Lee." Tenten replied uninterested as she examined her other weapons for sharpness.

"Eh? You mean, you aren't going, Tenten-chan?" Lee asked with a puzzled expression.

"Nope." She replied simply.

"Is it because it's couples only? I'm sure Kiba-san, Shino-san or even Chouji-san would gladly—"

"Ew! No, it's not like that, Lee. Even if it was, I'm not interested in guys anyway." She threw a shuriken at the tree across from her.

Lee looked at her trying to comprehend what she had said. Who on earth _wouldn't_ be excited about this?

"Not interested…? Tenten-chan…you…" he came up and cup his hand near her ear, although he spoke in his normal tone, "…like girls?"

Neji, who had been eavesdropping, stifled a laugh. Lee backed up as Tenten exploded.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" She had thrown a kunai a centimeter from Lee's left ear.

"Uhh-uh, you got it all wrong, Tenten-chan! Please don't make a fuss about it—you don't have to be embarrassed—your secret is safe with me!" He did his good guy pose while his teeth pinged.

Tenten sharpened a butcher knife which she had summoned as Lee posed and pinged, and sparkled, and made all possible noises you could make from having shiny teeth. However, before she could maul the poor boy, Neji cut in.

"Save your breath Lee, even if she _was _straight (Tenten's head snapped towards Neji), she couldn't get a date if her life depended on it." He stated simply, not opening his eyes. Tenten scoffed, obviously offended.

"Oh, can it, boy-prodigy!"

"Bite me." He said as he finally glared at her.

"You should talk! I think all of that Herbal Essence has seeped into your brain. I mean, your hair is so girly, you could pass as your own date!" Tenten sneered. Neji stood up now, his face showing just a hint of red.

"And exactly who would find a meatball head like you even slightly attractive?" Tenten started twitching.

"Someone who has more sense than to fall for a pouty, drag-wannabe like you!"

Lee stood helplessly as the two started shouting obscenities and disappeared behind a cloud of dust as they pummeled each other. 'This wasn't going where I had expected. Oh, why can't things turn out like they do in those wonderful Neji/Tenten fan fictions online that Gai-sensei showed me? Tenten would blush as Neji confessed his love and pulled her into a long embrace, finally leaning down to…' Lee's thoughts continued to trail off into La-la land. He was so deep in thought he hadn't noticed Gai walk up behind him and watch Neji and Tenten choke each other, turn blue, faint, regain consciousness and fight again.

"What is the meaning of this new and unpredictable taijutsu Neji and Tenten are using?" Gai asked, not really concerned, but curious, nonetheless.

"Oh, Gai-sensei. Well, I tried to tell Neji-kun and Tenten-chan about the New Year's party coming up, in hopes that they might get together and fall in love…" Lee's eyes sparkled as he clapped his hands together and sighed dreamily. Gai nodded,

"Hmm yes, what a wonderful idea!"

"…but," Lee slumped, "it didn't turn out as I had intended." Neji's growls and Tenten's shrieks continued in the background.

"I see…Do you know what this means, my student?" Gai asked dramatically.

"Gai-sensei? You have an idea to get them together?" Lee perked up.

"Precisely! It's only a long and drawn out, overly-complicated scheme that may take about twelve chapters to write about, only to have the success in the last chapter! We'll need scissors, tape, glue, a chicken, the Spice Girls, curry…" Gai listed off what seemed like a random list of items as Lee started scribbling them down furiously on his note pad, nodding and saying "Mmhmm," and "Yes" every now and then.

"Alright! Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

But instead of the usual sunset, splash and hug, they were interrupted by Neji and Tenten's shouting.

"Yeah! Well, I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last male on Earth!"

"That's fine by me! As if you of all girls could seduce me!"

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is!"

"Is that supposed to be a challenge!"

"I bet I can give you a nosebleed before you can say the word 'fantasy'!"

"Yeah right! I bet I can make you swoon over me before you know what hit you!"

Before they knew it, Tenten and Neji shouted the words that would seal their fate for the next two weeks.

"YOU'RE ON!"

Gai and Lee stood still, shocked at what they had just heard. Lee glanced at the notepad he had moments ago written furiously in, in hopes of a crazy scheme to get the two lovebirds together. He threw it over his shoulder.

"Didn't see that coming…"


	2. Help me, Lee!

**This chapter is teh suck. D: Well, many thanks for reviewing, people! And sorry for not replying to them until today! Something weird was going on for a while where I couldn't read or reply to the reviews online for a few days. But never fear! I read every single one and take them into consideration, so don't be afraid to criticize! Enough babble, on to the next chapter!**

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The next day, Tenten and Neji sat across from one another other during their lunch break, staring daggers at each other. Lee sat to the side next to Gai, stuffing his mouth with a rice ball so he wouldn't have to talk if either of the two decided to include him in their quarrel. 'This is most uncomfortable; our team should be happy to be together in this spring time of youth!' Lee pondered. 'I could understand Tenten going overboard, but Neji too? Maybe…maybe they really do like each other but won't admit it!' Lee started giggling, but since his mouth was still full of food, he began gagging not long after.

Neji's right eye twitched. Tenten let out a short 'hmph!' and turned her head away. It was Neji who spoke up first.

"Tenten…about yesterday…" he started with an emotionless tone.

"Yeah…?" Tenten arched an eyebrow in anticipation. 'Oooh! Maybe he's gonna apologize for being such a heartless jerk yesterday! I can see it now! _Tenten, I apologize for being such a heartless jerk to you yesterday. Please, take this fuuma shuriken, katana, and all of these other weapons as a token of my apologies. And I'll also be your personal slave. smiles and bows Oh! Tenten is so great! I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy…!_' Tenten completely drifted off. She had an insane smile on her face as she continued daydreaming, not noticing the little string of drool on the corner of her mouth, nor Neji, who was staring at her.

'Great…she went nuts…' Neji thought.

"Hey…hey! Tenten?" He waved a hand in front of her face. She snapped back to reality.

"Huh...huh? What? Yeah I'm listening!" She blinked and looked around for a few moments. Neji arched an eyebrow and smirked.

"Are you sure the weight of those tennis balls on your head isn't too much for your empty skull?" Tenten's eye twitched. 'Man! What is up with me lately! I can't _not _make fun of Tenten, even if I tried!'

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, what is it you wanted to say?" Tenten scowled at him, losing patience.

'Why is she looking at me like that? She was the one who started that whole thing yesterday! I was going to apologize to get her off my back, but seeing as she won't forget about this, maybe we could make this more interesting…'

"Right…so…what do you wager?"

"Come again?"

"As I recall it, you bet you could make me fall in love with you—or somewhere along the lines of that—before I could with you…"

Tenten grimaced once she thought about what she said. She _did_ say that, even though she wasn't thinking straight at the time.

"Okay…so what's your point?" Tenten asked.

"Well, a bet is a bet. What's in it for me? I mean, besides another air-headed _fangirl_?" Neji smirked.

"Hmm…" Tenten looked at Neji hard as she chose her words carefully, "Well, if I win, you become my personal maid for a month—"

"Ha! That's easy!"

"—while wearing Lee's green suit." Tenten smiled devilishly. Neji stopped smiling.

"That's not funny. In fact, cruel and unusual!" Tenten stuck out her tongue in response.

"Well then, what do I have to lose?"

"You…if _you_ lose…you have to give up your weapons for a month."

Tenten eyes got big and watery as she grabbed a kunai from her pouch.

"Not my babies! My preeeecciouuus…" She said as she rubbed her cheek against it, without cutting herself.

"But, Neji," Lee interjected, "What if we're called out to a mission? Won't Tenten need her weapons then?"

"Y-yeah! What about then, huh? Can I use them then?" Tenten got up on her knees (since they were sitting) in a begging position.

Neji smiled on the inside; he was really getting to her. He put his hand to his chin as if to think long and hard, although in reality he was just making them suffer in anticipation for his answer.

"Nope." He shrugged. Tenten's jaw dropped to the ground. Neji put an arm around Tenten's shoulders.

"Heeey, it's no big deal, just think of it this way: now you can spend more time training in taijutsu with Lee." Neji smirked.

"You mean…" Lee got starry eyed, "I'll have a training buddy! OH BOY!"

Tenten got all chibi-fied, with exaggerated tears running down her face. 'Training…with Lee…?'

"It'll be great Tenten-chan! We can start with a three day marathon! And if we can't complete 4000 thumb push-ups, we'll do 8000 crunches! Doesn't that sound fun!"

"Yeah, _Tenten-chan_" Neji pinched Tenten's cheek. He was definitely enjoying himself. Tenten fainted and fell over from shock.

"W-well, who's saying I'll lose?" Tenten shot back up, "Keep laughing Hyuuga, but don't say I didn't tell you so two weeks from now when you're scrubbing my toilets in spandex!"

"Two weeks, huh?"

"That's right, if you can't seduce me by the New Year's Dance, you'll be my maid in tights."

"Alright, and if you can't do the same to me by the dance, then you'll have say goodbye to your precious 'babies'."

They glared at each other, sparks between their eyes. Lee looked to Neji, then Tenten.

"This is most definitely _not_ youthful." Lee said to no one in particular.

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The rest of the day went on without incident, and as the sky darkened, everyone headed off into different directions to their home. Lee was in the middle of his pre-bed routine of 300 jump-ropes when his phone (do they even have phones in Konoha? O.o) rang.

"Hello! Konoha's Green Beast, Lee speaking!"

"Err, hi Lee, this is Tenten…"

"Oh hello Tenten-chan! Tell me, what has caused this late call? Miss placed items? Romantic advice? Secret mission?"

"The latter…sort of. Well, you see…um, well I mean, you already know the bet I made with Neji, and I was wondering if you could…erm…help me out? You're the only other person who knows about this, and you _are _a guy, so you could help me… 'impress' him, right?"

"Oh Tenten! Of cour—! Oh, hold on, there's an incoming call!" Lee pressed a button on the phone. "Hello! Konoha's Gree—"

"Lee, it's Neji, you don't need to introduce yourself."

"O-oh! Neji-san! What a surprise, I didn't expect you to call too!"

"Too? Someone else called you?"

"Uhh…!" 'Think fast, Lee!' "Y-yeah! It was my…pen pal…uh…" Lee looked around for anything with a name on it. He spotted a bag of… "Cracker Jacks!"

"Cer-racker J-ack?" Neji pronounced the foreign name with difficulty.

"Th-that's his street name, silly ol' Jack! Cracker…because uh, he…is…um…he likes crackers…with…cheese."

"…"

"…"

"…Your pen pal, _called_ you on the _phone_?" Lee coughed and quickly changed the conversation.

"So! My good, bestest pal, Neji! Um, why did you call?"

"Right well, I…I sort of need…Icouldusesomehelp…" Neji mumbled the last part. Asking for help was obviously not something he did often.

"I'm sorry Neji, I couldn't hear the last part; what did you say?"

"CanyouhelpmewinagainstTeten?" He said at lightning speed.

"Uhh…? Could you repeat…?" Neji took a deep breath.

"Can you…help me…win against Tenten…?"

"…I…uh…I mean…" 'Uh-oh…I can't help Neji if I'm helping Tenten. But Neji will surely have my head on a pike if I don't assist! Then again…I already agreed to help Tenten. If she finds out I'm helping Neji, she'll definitely lose her temper and I'll be holier than Swiss cheese!'

"Lee, are you still there? Answer me!"

"U-u-uh…! Whoops someone's on the other line! Be right back!"

"Bu—!"

"Uhm….Hiya Tenten, sorry that took a while!"

"Sheesh Lee, took you long enough…"

"S-sorry."

"For a second there, I almost thought that you were talking to Neji or something."

"…!"

"Hahaha! How crazy, I mean, you already agreed to helping me, riiight?"

"Y-yeah…yes I did…"

"Lee? Are you okay? You sound like…you're _hiding something_ …"

"W-what? What on earth gave you that crazyideawhoopssomeonescallingagain!"

"N-neji? You still there?" Lee was biting his nails.

"Of course I'm still here, now are you going to help me, or not?"

"Well, I—"

"I mean, you don't _have a problem with it, do you_?"

"N-no sir! I'm here to help whenever you ask!" Lee slapped himself on the forehead when he realized what he said. Out of nervousness, he pushed the button again and switched back to Tenten.

"Lee? Are you there? Who the heck are you talking to?"

"I-I-I uh…!" He kept pushing the button, switching back and forth out of confusion, and lack of excuses.

"Lee?"

"_Lee?_"

"Lee?"

"_Lee!_"

"Lee!"

"LEE!" When he heard the voices in unison, he quickly realized he pushed the three-way button. 'Oh no!'

"I'm sorry! I can't talk anymore! I—uh—MY WATER BROKE!"

And with that, Lee slammed the phone back onto the stand, leaving two very confused team mates staring at their phones.


	3. Pick Up Lines? Aisle 19

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for all of the feedback! I know I haven't updated as soon as you'd hope, but school has been keeping me down (strangling my creative mojo D:). Luckily, writing this was a real mood lifter for me, so I hope it does the same for you! And I'll try to update...sometime before next year. Onward!**

Pick Up Lines? Aisle 19

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The next day, Neji and Tenten had arrived to the training grounds early, but neither had spoken a word. Lee had shown up a few minutes late…wonder why.

"Hey…Lee." Neji whispered to Lee as Gai droned on in another youth speech. Lee gulped as he looked to his left towards Neji.

"Y-yes?"

"What was…_that_," Neji coughed, "all about…last night…?"

"Uh!" Lee's faced paled, "Well, you see…my water broke."

Neji's eye twitched. Lee meekly held up a water bottle with a bandage on it and jiggled it so the water swashed around.

"Heheh…" Lee nervously giggled, "All fixed."

There was a moment of silence as the wind blew before Neji fell over, stiff as a board, anime-style. Tenten noticed Neji's temporary state of unconsciousness and decided to take advantage of it.

"Lee! You know how we talked about _you-know-what_ last night; do you think you can come over my house tonight?"

"S-sure thing, Tenten-chan!" Lee stammered.

"We need to discuss last night's conversation…" Tenten said in a low tone. Lee gulped again. "Great! Seeya then!"

With that, Tenten ran off for some solo training. Lee turned back to the unconscious Neji and tried to wake him up. He tried slapping him, splashing him with water, singing "Little Bunny Fufu," but nothing worked. Finally, from the pocket dimension that existed somewhere in his skin tight uniform, he pulled out a large mayonnaise-sized jar of…curry?

"The curry of life will definitely wake him up!" Lee said as he dug a massive spoon into the gloop. At the sound of speed, Neji's hand reached up and grabbed Lee's arm before any damage could be done.

"Don't. Even. Think. About it." Neji growled before helping himself up.

"Ahh! Neji-san, you're awake!" Lee said. Glancing at the spoon, he decided to eat the curry instead of letting it go to waste and had an instant food-orgasm.

"Ergh, Lee, I need you help me get supplies today."

"Surplizz?" Lee slurred with the spoon in his mouth.

"Yeah, you know…_supplies_."

"Aha! Right!" Lee jumped up and grabbed Neji by the wrists. "I know the perfect place to go!"

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A few minutes later, they reached an American grocery store.

"Stop&Shop?" Neji looked up at the huge letters in front of the store, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yup! Hey, did you hear how Stop&Shop and A&P merged? So now they're called Stop&P! Ahaaahha-snort-hahaha!" Lee snorted and laughed, doubled over, slapping his knee.

"…Are you drunk?"

"Ahahaha-snortt-hahhh—maybe a little." Lee said stoically and coughed.

"…"

"…C'mon, let's go inside!"

Neji and Lee walked through the automatic doors and looked around. The whole store seemed to be empty except for two employees. One was a red-head, but he was turned so his face wasn't showing. The other was a girl of about 17 years of age, with brown shoulder length, loosely curled hair. She seemed to be giving the boy a hard time…

"Gaara! As my official trainee, you have to do as I say! You can't keep scaring away customers like this, you gotta smiiiillllle!!" She exaggerated this last word by stretching out her mouth with her fingers.

"S-heee? Sh-miiilllle! Or else you don't get any hummus!"

"…But I don't want hummus. I want death and destruction—"

"Well then, no death and destruction for you!"

"…" She narrorwed her eyes in frustration, but then noticed Neji and Lee stand near the doorway, looking lost.

"Customers! Here's your chance Gaara! Redeem yourself! For the hummus, for the pudding, for the produce section!" The girl shoved Gaara in Neji and Lee's direction. He wore a blank expression.

Several awkward moments passed as the girl stood in the background cheering on Gaara to do his best while the boys stared at one another.

"…"

"…Hello, my name is Gaara. How may I help you…?" Gaara turned his head towards his co-worker. She jumped up and down, pointing at her teeth. Gaara turned his head back and did a half smile, half screw-your-face-up-like-you-were-constipated-look. Luckily, Lee was too busy admiring Gaara's green store-apron, and Neji had spotted a mirror not far from him, and started doing little macho poses as well as pointing, winking and clicking his tongue at himself.

'Boys…' The girl thought to herself as she groaned.

"Ehh, good job, Gaara! You did great! So great infact, you get to help me re-stock aisle 19!"

"Aisle…19…?" Gaara asked.

Somewhere in the depths of his heart (oh yes, he has one of those), he knew there was something wrong concerning that aisle. What was it? What was it he couldn't remember, the reason why all of his male co-workers had quit?

"Here, you get to hold these while I arrange by product number, bar code, size, density, and alphabetize and color code the entire shelf!" the girl loaded a three foot pile of tampon and pad packages into Gaara's arms.

"…"

"Let's go!" She shouted dramatically, cracking the whip that had suddenly appeared in her hand. Gaara silently followed the girl down the store, somehow seeing where he was going.

"Ohh…I didn't get to ask him if they had any of those aprons in fuchsia!" Lee blurted as he snapped out of his daze. Neji pictured Lee wearing a frilly, fuchsia apron on top of his hideously tight, green spandex and shuddered.

"Dirty images…"

"Whats that?"

"Dirty dishes. They're, uh, waiting for me at home. Let's make this quick."

"Let's see…I guess I'll need some shampoo okay…" Neji stole a glance at some of the Herbal Essence bottles. 'On sale…Berry Tea and Orange Flower…or Fruit Fusions?'

Neji looked around, stashed some bottles in his basket, then quickly covered them with a pile of Axe, razors and beef jerky. Suddenly, someone tapped his shoulder.

"It's for Hinata, I swear!" Neji looked around wildly. Lee stood there, happily chewing away at some candy, apparently not hearing a word Neji said.

"Neji, Neji! Listen to this! What kind of shorts do clouds wear?" Lee read off a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

"Uh…" Neji said, more out of confusion than thought.

"Thunder-pants!" Lee went into hysterics. "Hahahahoohoo! Ahh…I have to remember that one!"

Neji's eye twitched again. "Something in your eye, Neji?" Lee asked; Neji groaned.

"C'mon Lee, we don't have time to mess around; we gotta get through this list of completely _masculine_ products before—"

"Never fear, Neji! For all we need is THIS!" Lee held up a magazine.

"Adolescent Magazine…?"

"Yup, all we need" Lee nodded.

"Over my dead testosterone filled body. It looks like the magazine child of Cosmo and Seventeen. Not that I would know such a thing…it just…looks…like it." Neji mumbled as he crossed his arms. When Neji looked up, Lee was already paying for the periodical. The girl (who appeared to be taking a break from her re-stocking duties) held up one paper and one plastic bag.

"Kill a tree, or strangle a bird?"

"Oh! Neither would be very youthful, I think I'll just hold this—"

"Kill a tree!" Neji grabbed the paper bag and shoved the magazine in it. "No one, I repeat, NO ONE is to see us walking out of this store with _that_ magazine!" Neji whispered urgently into Lee's ear. "Let's go!" Neji said as he pushed Lee through the automated doors.

"Hey! You forgot your change! This quarter was made in 1998!" The girl shouted after the two.

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"Hmm…Adolescent Magazine suggests pick-up lines to 'charm your lady lover'."

"Ugh, please don't use words like that."

"But it's true!"

"Well, fine then, let me see a few. All I have to do is charm Tenten and the deal is done."

Neji grabbed the 'zine, but was quickly met with confusion.

"I can't read a word of this."

"Oh, let me! I'm fluent in English!"

"Your penpal, right?"

"Err…yeah, that—him, hehe, right." Lee sweat dropped as he took back the magazine.

"Ah…these should do." Lee started scribbling the translations for the Worst Pick-up Lines column…

-----------------------------------

Neji and Lee had spotted Tenten walking down the street after finishing lunch with some of the other kunoichis in town. Lee pushed Neji out from behind the tree they were using as cover, and gave him his trade marked Good Guy Pose.

"Are you sure about this? Some of these lines seem…off."

"Trust me! It's all the rage!"

Neji took a deep breath and sighed. "H-hello, Tenten."

"Oh hey Neji. Something the matter?"

"If…uh…if you were a burger, you'd be McBeautiful!"

"…_What?_"

Neji panicked, his voice got louder and higher as he spoke. "I'm looking for treasure! Mind if I search your chest?"

"Escuse me?! Neji Hyuuga! Explain yourself!"

"Guh!!" Neji quickly searched his mind for another line. Neji grabbed Tenten's ass.

"Aaiiiiieee!!"

"Is this seat taken?!"

Tenten started lashing out at Neji, who kept dodging, and pitifully trying more lines.

"Is your father a baker? Because you have the nicest set of buns!" Neji's voice cracked as he dodged another punch. "You're so hot, your ass is on fire!"

"That's it, Hyuuga!!" Tenten landed a perfect uppercut under Neji's jaw, and sent him flying into a near-by stream.

"That oughta cool you off! Jerk…" Tenten stalked off, fuming.

"Y-you've been a ba-ad girl…go to my room!" Neji said before sinking to the bottom of the stream.


End file.
